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Gay Relationship advice?

Discussion in 'General (Off Topic)' started by Carter Undisclosed, Jan 19, 2021.  |  Print Topic

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  1. Carter Undisclosed

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    My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years and recently he's been talking to his step brother (like heaps every second he sends snaps he instantly responds no matter what we are doing) he's told me that he finds his step brother very attractive and I don't know what to do I feel like I'm losing my boyfriend to his step brother, I've tried to talk to him about it but he avoids any questions I've asked please anyone advice?
     
  2. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Active Veteran
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    Hi Carter<3 Huh, that'a very interesting and I can see how it would be alarming to you. Do you know his stepbrother well, or really at all? An idea would be to ask him directly, just explain that you have noticed he talks to him a whole lot now and seems close which is great, but you also worry because the closer he's gotten with him, the more closed off he's been towards you. I would just say you are concerned because he's barely talked to you and you hope he's okay. If you don't know him/don't know him well, I would try talking to your boyfriend again. Tell him the convo is very important and you would like him to hear you out. You can say some of the same things you would have said to the stepbrother and also add you are concerned and also have been feeling left out.
     
  3. Carter Undisclosed

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    Yeah I've met his step brother before, and through the encounters I can say he isn't straight either and has made that very clear to both of us, however his step brother doesn't like me at all so asking him is a problem, I've talked to my boyfriend about the issue but he isn't really being cooperative with me and he's acting like a complete ... Well you get the idea and he is trying to make me feel bad about getting insecure, saying that if he cuts down on talking to his brother I'll be making him feel bad because he'll be lonely with no one to talk too
     
  4. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Active Veteran
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    Hmm...that is difficult..I guess to that id say you aren't asking him to NOT talk to his brother at all, you just miss him and feel like ALL his attention lately has gone to his brother. Maybe his brother is going through something, who knows what the situation is. I would reiterate that you don't mind that they are close, that you are happy they are. Its fine if he is close with friends or family, if he spends time with them too, that is't a problem, BUT he's still your boyfriend and you have needs too, you deserve his attention too. I'd also say him acting this way when you have talked about this issue in passing is making YOU feel bad because you aren't trying to be a bad guy in any way, you just plain miss your boyfriend. Your feelings are valid as much as his.
     
  5. Carter Undisclosed

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    Yeah I'm fine with them being close it's just I don't feel like we're together anymore, I feel like he'd rather date his step brother, and I hardly get any attention from him I guess I'm "just being needy" as he put it, but honestly this is the first time I've told him that I would like more attention from him
     
  6. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Active Veteran
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    I would tell him exactly that, word for word.
     
  7. Carter Undisclosed

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    I did, he broke up with me and told me he was planning on dating his step brother anyways. Unfortunately it's not meant to be I guess
     
  8. starlightprincess

    starlightprincess Active Veteran
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    Oh my god, I am so incredibly sorry=( Honestly, you deserve so much more than what he seemed able to give you. It wasn't your fault by communicating your needs to him. He was probably planning on doing this all along which was really sucky=( I really hope you are doing okay, I know any break up is never easy. We are all here for you<3
     
  9. curiousdud3

    curiousdud3 Fighting the demons
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    Sorry to hear about your break up. That is so cruel....... you deserve better... someone who loves you back the way you love them. Keep your head held high and stay strong. You're not too blame. ❤️
     

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